a rather cloistered topic that many adults think about but rarely
bring into the open: how does having braces affect your sex life?
This topic recently arose in the Metal Mouth Forum
and received a large number of responses -- so after much
debating, I decided to create a web page devoted to this
delicate topic. After all, we are adults!
There's no easy
answer to this question, because it depends on the individual
or the parties involved. Aside from your partner having a
braces fetish, it really
depends on each person's tastes and prejudices -- not to
mention, the type of braces you have (regular or lingual) --
and any appliances you may wear (Nance device, bite plate,
palate expander, headgear, tongue thrust spikes, etc). I suppose the rule of thumb
is: if it's sharp, then Houston, there may be a problem.
Season three of
the HBO series Sex and the City ended with Miranda
getting metal braces (to fix her TMJ headaches). She found
dating disastrous with braces, and her date made an off-hand
joke about oral sex being "out of the question."
Humiliated, Miranda had her braces removed (I suppose her TMJ
headaches just cured themselves). Well, that may work in TV
Land, but in real life, it just isn't an option. This page
exists to tell the Mirandas of the world (and their dates or
significant others) that yes, there is sex after braces. So
have no fear, fix your teeth, and continue to enjoy yourself
in the bedroom.
Your Kiss is
On My List...
After an initial
adjustment period of, say, a month or two, you will probably
be able to kiss normally with braces on your teeth. Braces
don't have much of an affect on your pucker power unless you
have other hardware in your mouth, such as an expander or
kissing is usually fine -- the real challenge may lie in what
happens when you open your mouth. Some people don't want to
feel brackets on their partner's teeth, or may be afraid that
their tongue will get cut or stuck. Depending on your
hardware, this is a possibility. If your tongue gets
cut up from your brackets, chances are your partner's will,
Run your tongue
over your brackets and use copious amounts of dental wax or
dental silicone on the rough spots. (If that doesn't work,
perhaps your orthodontist can smooth the rough spots with a
special tool). Be careful kissing areas
with short body hairs. Take it slowly, and soon you'll be
smooching away to your heart's content.
female ArchWired reader wrote, "my husband is afraid for
me to go down on him with these braces on my teeth."
Indeed, it's probably not for everyone. Some couples just put
a moratorium on this activity until the braces are off. If
both parties agree, then of course there's nothing wrong with
abstaining from oral sex for a year or two. Men are quite
serious about their "members" and the thought of
"Mr. Johnson" getting poked by a wire or a
bracket...well let's just say...ouch!
wax may help alleviate his fears, along with good and caring
technique (being sure to cover all the brackets with your
lips). One ArchWired reader wrote that "lots of
lubrication (lube, water, etc.) is essential". However,
if you have lingual (behind-the-teeth) brackets, appliances
with rough posts/hooks, tongue-thrust spikes, or a palate
expander, there may not be much you can safely do. Unless your
partner is into kinky risk, and unless you are extremely
careful, it might not have the best....outcome.
You must be
careful not only for him, but for yourself -- so you don't
knock anything loose or hurt your gums or the inside of your
mouth with all the friction. Here's a great suggestion from another reader: "If
you're at all worried, try your technique on a hot dog or
popsicle... if anything is cut/torn/chipped/broken then I
would say it is definitely a no no."
suggestion would be to wear a silicone or plastic guard that
covers your brackets, such as the Morgan
Bumper. One reader, however, didn't think it would stay
securely in place, so as they say here in cyberspace, your
mileage may vary.
Also, if he is
wearing a condom, be sure your brackets haven't made
microscopic tears in it. It
might be good practice to use a new one for intercourse to
ensure protection from pregnancy or STDs.
If this is
something that your partner wants you to do, and you are
apprehensive, just take it slowly. Remember that good
technique includes not only your mouth, but your tongue and
also your hands. Creativity -- not to mention a sense of humor
-- can make up for lack of classic technique. Who knows, you
might discover a new pleasure that will carry over when the
braces are removed.
Down In the
challenge for braced males (or females with female partners)
is probably not quite as risky, but, as one male ArchWired
reader wrote, "I'm afraid to get her hair caught in my
brackets." Ouch again!
solution here would be for the female (receiving) partner to
take a trip to South America. Go "Brazilian" and
have a close shave or wax in your nether regions. If there
isn't any (or much) hair -- or if the hair is trimmed really short,
the chances of a hair getting caught will be greatly reduced.
significant female other is a bush supporter (sorry, couldn't
resist the political pun there), then you obviously must be
more careful. It's doubtful that you'd get anything more than a hair
caught in a bracket. But if you tend to have a more aggressive
technique, just remember to be careful -- not only down in the
valley, but up in the hills and dales, too.
conclusion, having braces doesn't have to mean the end of
certain sexual pleasures. It might mean tweaking your
technique...or just plain being more careful. In the words
of one enlightened ArchWired reader, "practice makes
perfect." And if you decide to abstain...well, as they
say, absence...or maybe in this case abstinence...will make it
all the fonder until the braces are off.
If you have any constructive
suggestions or comments you'd like added to this page, please email me
using the link below. I apologize if this topic
offends anyone; it is meant to be informative. No flames or
lewd comments, please.