Hi everyone, thanks for your answers!
I agree that the communication has gone awry between me and my original Ortho, and it happened quickly. In the end, she had sent my refund check immediately before even having a conversation with me about it, and it was really unexpected. I panicked and called the Ortho I got the second opinion from and asked for help, and forwarded him all the correspondence from her, including the letter where she says I should go elsewhere because or communication is at an "impasse." Since the original estimate from the new Ortho for Invisalign was so much higher than I could afford to pay, I even asked him if he would finish up my current Damon treatment. After reviewing everything, he revised his estimate for treatment and actually the difference between the original refund and the new treatment is not very much and it is something I can actually afford without hardship. It was very kind of him to revise the estimate and I am thankful. However, he says it has to be invisalign, because he thinks it will make for a better result. Granted, he is a top 1% Invisalign provider. I know I'm in good hands and this is originally what I wanted, but my fickle self is now questioning what it will be like to adjust to yet another treatment modality now that I am used to braces, and was even coming to terms with the "awful" elastics. I was reading on AW and became very concerned about the posterior open bite issues, and am curious how my treatment will be affected now that my bite is all over the place from being in the midst of treatment. I will address these questions to my new Ortho this week (!!!) when I have my deband appointment! Eek!
In the end, I've run the gamut of emotions. I did not call my current ortho this past week when she told me she would be available (it was one of three hour-long blocks she suggested as possible times, only after I told her assistant I wanted to talk). I don't have much else to say to her at this time. I am thankful for her work but don't think I could go back to the office and be "that lady," nor trust my teeth to someone I have angered. I just hope this journey will be worthwhile, and the adjustment to invisalign is smooth. I feel like there is a new world of potential issues to tackle, and it seems overwhelming all of a sudden.
Regarding my job, I am a physician. I just felt very self conscious once the elastics went on and I felt like my mouth was so tight and having to talk through it. But I guess with invisalign I will deal with a lisp... and bad breath... etc and so on.

This is so hard!