John Oliver had work done and now I am too

[VioletStubbs]

Ok, so you know those 'get to know you' exercises you do on the first day of class or work orientation where you get asked who you would most want to invite to dinner? Well, my answer is John Oliver, host of Last Week Tonight. He's weird, and nerdy, and obsessed with minutiae, just like me (except he's successful). Part of the reason I like him so much is because I could kind of see my actions mirrored in his when it came to his teeth- the way he talked and smiled and laughed was geared towards not showing too many teeth. When he laughed hard, open-mouthed, he'd often put his hand over his mouth so you couldn't really see what was going on in there. I think it was because his lateral incisors were really small.

I'm 27 now and for the past year had been actually kind of OK about having gnarly crowded teeth. I smiled properly in last year's christmas photo. I was mostly ok with having odd teeth. And then I watched a video on Youtube of John Oliver laughing about possibly being thrown out of the US and there it was. Two perfect new lateral incisors and a smile that no longer needs covering. And I thought to myself, "what hope have I got?" so I booked an ortho consultation.

I had my first consultation on 22 May and was given a list of everything wrong with my teeth: severe crowding of upper and lower arches, off-centre lower midline, under-developed lower jaw, a slight cross bite and an over bite. Sheesh.

But I didn't really feel at home in the office. There were other patients all over the place, I had to wait for ages for my appointment, was left in the consulting room by myself for 20 minutes when I was finally called through, and the orthodontist seemed really distant. And they were so patronising! I told them I'd done a lot of reading on the subject and read a lot of forums about braces and they told me off for "consulting Dr Google". I got the feeling that they just had too many patients. And the earliest they could band my teeth was on 24 July.

I decided to see a second ortho (there aren't many choices here) and it was fantastic. My appointment was at 9am and I was in the consulting room by 9.01. The office is a 5 minute walk from my house and workplace (I would have had to drive to the other one). It's in this big old house that I think is just beautiful. And the staff didn't once insult my intelligence. The answered all the questions I had but didn't lecture on stuff that a 27 year old with access to the internet really should know already. And the kicker: it's almost a thousand dollars cheaper. And they had me booked in for banding on 22 June, just over two weeks away. Next week they'll take moulds and put in spacers. It was all a bit shocking. I was gearing up for another couple of months of waiting and preparing myself mentally and they blew that all out of the water so now I've only got two more weeks of eating crunchy food and sticky sweets before my mouth is all full of very expensive metal and ceramic.

I've also had to have a bit done on the dental side of things- last week I had four fillings in one go because that's what happens when you don't go to the dentist for a decade (growing up working poor and going to uni at the same time as your partner and not earning much for five years will do that). Next week I have to have another filling done, AND have an old filling taken out and investigated because there's a shadow underneath it (probably horrifying decay, by my luck). Ten years of dental fees in a few weeks is not fun. Thanks, Medicare (in Australia everyone is covered by Medicare, but it doesn't cover dental).

Yeah, even though my braces are a grand cheaper, it's still not a financial walk in the park. You owe me, John. You can buy me braces-friendly dinner.

(photos to come when I'm allowed to post them)

[VioletStubbs]

Oh yeah, I have 4 wisdom teeth that have never come through (one is lazy and is lying on its side. typical.) The first ortho said they would probably have to come out, while the second said they wouldn't. The first ortho also said that extractions shouldn't be done on adults because the teeth don't move into position as well as if you're still growing, but the ortho I went with said that was codswallop (he actually said that wasn't true but I'm entitled to some poetic licence when it comes to teeth being ripped out of my head). What do you reckon? I'm inclined to agree with the second ortho because I've read so many stories here about people's extractions and assuming they weren't all teenagers pretending to be in their 20s, 30s and 40s.

My ortho said I might need to have one extraction on my lower arch to make room, but wouldn't that make my teeth off-centre when they moved into position?

[VioletStubbs]

Get a load of these bad boys. You know what's annoying? I'm the only kid (out of four) in my family to have manky teeth. My two brother and my little sister all have very serviceable, smile-able teeth and I got lumped with the bad teeth. I think it was because I had MONSTER, choking-risk tonsils and adenoids (the ENT specialist actually said "oh, wow!" when he saw them) until I was thirteen so I was a mouth breather. Apparently because the jaw is never closed (because you need your mouth open to breathe), it results in weird, narrow jaws that should have grown outwards but instead grew down. So that's probably why my siblings don't have a mess going on in their mouths and don't now have to spend the equivalent of a new small car on their teeth.

On a related note, any photographic tips for teeth selfies? The pictures I took seem pretty soft on the focus and I'd rather not drag out my massive camera every time I post an update haha

[Steph30]

I can tell just by your before pictures you will have huge movement right away.. Don't ask me why I just feel it lol

By the way, I absolute LOVE that you post the full on "yes there's sauce on my face" before pics. Awesome! haha

[tillybrace]

[quote="VioletStubbs"]
And then I watched a video on Youtube of John Oliver laughing about possibly being thrown out of the US and there it was. Two perfect new lateral incisors and a smile that no longer needs covering. And I thought to myself, "what hope have I got?" so I booked an ortho consultation./quote]

o man, i just googled John Oliver and now I think I am in love,I think I am going to have to fight you for him

[VioletStubbs]

hahaha no worries on that, I'd rather be his friend. Or better yet, work for him!

Argh, 11 days to go until braces. I just want it started already! Even though I have to wait for my next pay day to even come close to the deposit they charge on day 1 haha

[VioletStubbs]

I can tell just by your before pictures you will have huge movement right away.. Don't ask me why I just feel it lol

By the way, I absolute LOVE that you post the full on "yes there's sauce on my face" before pics. Awesome! haha

Lordy I hope you're right on the movement score! It's going to be so exciting, and I'll be able to whinge at my boyfriend and he'll have to make me mushy food and be really nice to me

If I get food all over myself before braces, I'm going to be such a mess with them on, it's going to be hilarious. Might even post a 'this is where my food went' photo just for the lolz haha

[atrixa]

I'm so excited for you! Did they give an estimated treatment time?

[VioletStubbs]

First ortho said 2-3 years, second said 18 months. Such a big difference! I'm not pinning my hopes to 18 months though since ortho 1 estimated so long my bet is around 2 years.

[VioletStubbs]

So Ma thinks she's hilarious.

Was visiting this weekend and I was telling her about getting my braces on and she was like, "so how long will you have them on for?" And I told her that I reckoned it'll be two years.

"And no engagement while you've got braces on?" she asks.

"No, Ma," I say. "I don't care about having braces with an engagement, but I'm NOT having braces for my wedding."

"But you'll be OLD then. You'll have to get a cat!"

So that's how I found out that cats are another accessory I'll have to get to go with my adult braces.

[atrixa]

So that's how I found out that cats are another accessory I'll have to get to go with my adult braces.

And here's me thinking I could just match my nail polish to my band colours!

[VioletStubbs]

And here's me thinking I could just match my nail polish to my band colours!

ahahaha that's a fantastic idea!

[VioletStubbs]

Annnnnnnd my spacers are in, 4 on top, 4 on bottom.

Pro: flossing routine will be shorter for the next week.
Con: no sticky or chewy food for the next week, reduced flossing time will be recouped tenfold when braces are on.
Cost: $160 along with super fancy 3D scanning of my teeth with a big, bulky scanning wand which felt like it had NO BUSINESS being in my mouth. I mean, the thing was square! Why not a shape actually suited to being in mouths, like a round wand? Pa's an industrial designer and he taught me that lots of things are engineered, but the best stuff (particularly in the tech world) is designed. That 3D wand was definitely engineered and I've got the sore, bruised feeling in my gums from where it didn't fit to show for it. But at least I'll have a super high tech 3D model of my teeth and didn't have to have the silicone gum stuff to make a mould. I kinda feel cheated over that, the mould thing looked like it'd be pretty funny.

Thoughts: if my teeth look so much like corn kernels, why am I not allowed to eat popcorn while in braces? Seems like a joke played by the universe to me. Also when I bite down it feels like I'm chewing on a popped balloon. And the sound and feeling and pressure when these things went in! Very concerning, like either my teeth were going to pop out or the pliers would smash straight through my gums and rip my face off.

Finally, had my last fillings yesterday and hoo boy, have my gnashers been naughty. Three fillings, two of which were extremely deep and are at "high risk" of needing root canals. One is the only other filling I've ever needed and the dentist who placed it didn't do it right, because under it was "quite mushy inside" (my dentist's words). That's in addition to the four fillings I had on the other side, of which two are going to be problem children. And I've never had a damn toothache in my life. It makes me pretty angry, actually. If dentistry was covered by Medicare in Australia, I would have been able to catch these issues in the 12 bloody years that I haven't been able to afford to get to the dentist. What happens to the people who didn't and won't get lucky like I did to have the money for dentistry? It's stupid. It's going on the list of things to do when I rule the world.

Anyway, pictures!

[VioletStubbs]

OH MY GOD THIS SUCKS

Spacers were fine yesterday afternoon and evening. My top right molars were popping and clicking after a couple of hours- popping and clicking means they're moving, right? I thought the most painful they'd be was last night when I was having dinner- soup and buttery bread. Chewing the bread felt a little bit iffy so I was just careful about it. I was pretty pleased with myself.

And then I woke up this morning. THE ACHE. Oh, the ache. All of my teeth feel like they're crushed forwards so there's this constant throb even before I try to eat anything that's not entirely liquid. I couldn't even chew my toast this morning. I feel inordinately sad about that, toast and me are over now probably for the duration and toast is one of my favourites (def not a foodie).

So I had some leftover soup for lunch. No bread. Just soup (sad). And because my body lives on complex carbs I was starving by afternoon snack time but I only had an apple. I tried to cut a small piece off and soften it up in my mouth before chewing, but ended up crunching the damn thing down on my very back left molar and now it feels like it's going to pop out and any minute and I'm terrified of going back to the ortho and getting him to put it back on because he'll think I was eating chewy, sticky foods and he'll look down on me. It' seems pretty secure though- I can't push it any further down and it doesn't wobble if I run my tongue over it, so it should be fine (?). I'll just be careful over the next week.

So that's why I'm on a liquid diet now.

[VioletStubbs]

I feel like these spacers are pushing my lower left canine right out of my face. I'm running my tongue obsessively ever where the canine was until the last couple of days, it's moved so far out! Ugh, I can't wait to get my actual braces on so all this discomfort and movement is in the right direction.

I got some of those plaque disclosing tablets from my dentist and I used one today and the back of the homeless canine was pretty much black with the disclosing tablet colour, because my toothbrush just can't get in there and do its job. So I spent ages angling the brush in all different directions until the tooth wasn't purple anymore, and lo and behold, the gum starts bleeding and looks like a damn extraction hole and I freaked out thinking that my tooth was going to pop out and I'll forever have lopsided teeth and nobody will want to be my friend. Now I realise that the gum's probably under a lot of stress right now what with all this new pressure that scouring it with an electric toothbrush for thirty seconds at a time will probably just irritate it even further.

Fingers crossed my poor homeless canine won't jump ship before Thursday.