The Journey To Conquer The Hatred...

If you want to share the detailed saga of your braces story, this is the place to do it. You can use this forum as a braces journal, editing and updating your posts as your treatment goes on. Remember to also visit the main ArchWired.com site for additional stories from other readers!

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purpleandteal
Posts: 74
Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2012 2:47 pm

The Journey To Conquer The Hatred...

#1 Post by purpleandteal »

Ooooo a shiny new topic to put my journey into words. I'm not much of a story teller, so don't expect too much greatness here, I just thought it would be nice to put my story out there as I have been reading a few others today.

So where to start? The begining usually helps, but where exactly is the begining?

I don't remember ever having a point in time where I accepted my teeth and just got on with it. I have always hated them. My confidence is so low and my teeth have always played a part in this lack of self esteem.
I had head gear when I was 15 (paid for by the NHS), I ended up aborting treatment after a few months as I was going through some really heavy stuff at home. THis made my teeth even worse as the movement that had started then completly backtracked and went even worse than they started. The heavy stuff continued for a few years and before I knew it I was past 18 and the NHS refused to pay for me.
I started trying to find ways to get the treament funded once again, I have barely any family, none of whom had any money they could loan me, I have mental health issues that stop me from working so I have no money myself. My old therapist helped me find ways to get help with funding but no avenue proved useful. Until one day, finally an answer tha had hope. There was an orthadontist that had a very very limited amount of spaces for adults that seriously needed orhodontic treatment to have it done on the NHS. I had to pay for an assessment and see what was said.
I waited for the appointment to come through, then waited for the date. At last, in August of 2010 I had my assessment appointment and was in turn referred over to the hospital that the orthofontic team were based.
Over the next 12 months, I saw my orthodontist about 4 times and met my surgeon twice. If I got accepted for treatment, I needed braces to fix my huge over bite, widen my top arch, make it so my lips touched better, straighten my bottom teett, and then have surgery on my lower jaw (and possibly upper too) to correct the under development and change my profile.
I was called in for an appointment to talk about a decision. I was so nervous, I didn't want to pin any hopes on anything until I had an answer. I went in and we talked a while.

Ortho: What is wrong with your face?
Me: My face? Well nothing really with my face, but my mouth, well my mouth is a different issue, theres lots wrong with my mouth.
Ortho: Like what?
Me: They stick out, they go in, they dont close, they dont bite, they make me look like a mongrel dog. *I'm trying so hard not to cry at this point, I hate talking about my awful teeth*
Ortho: Ok, what do you want to achieve if we were to go through with treatment?
Me: All I want is to be able to have a picture of me and my 4 neices and for me to be smiling, even if its a bit of a wonkey smile, just something nicer than mine. *Dammit, don't cry*
Ortho: Congratulations, If you want to join the waiting list, you will be on there as of today.
Me: Yes, Yes thankyou!!
Ortho: In around 3 years from today, we hope that you will have achieved an near perfect smile!
Me: *CRYS MY EYES OUT*

I never thought I would ever hear the words "near perfect" used to describe my mouth ever. I signed the forms through teary eyes and then had to wait. I had already had my impressions and x-rays done durring the appointments to see if I had enough of a need to get the treatment.
Then the letter I had been waiting for, 27th Feb 2012 I went in for my photos (which I hated and tried not to cry through. I actually dnt know how to smile wide as I have avoided it y whole life) and was given my installation dates. I had to have one upper molar on my right extracted at my regulr dentist before i went in for instalation.
And then on monday the 11th June 2012 I went in and had 8 spacers put on (4 upper, 4 lower) and Damon brackets on the top and normal metal brackets on the bottom, all ready to go on 18th june and get wired up.

The journey so far has been bad enough, it's been such a huge waiting game but I am so grateful that I have this opportunity and I'm nervously excited to start seeing some positive changes happen.

So here I am, just turned 26 and I've now got a mouthful of junk.

I'm going to close there and go and eat some super soft pasta, (ahh yes, spacers are still killing me) but I shall be sure to carry on this little "blog" in the hope that made it might hepl someone else even if ust to pass some time and boredom!
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NICURN85
Posts: 528
Joined: Thu Apr 19, 2012 9:30 am
Location: St. Louis, MO

Re: The Journey To Conquer The Hatred...

#2 Post by NICURN85 »

Aww your story almost made me cry!!! Im reading it while sitting in the relaxation room waiting for my fiance' to get done with a massage. I am so glad you were granted the opportunity to correct your smile in your adulthood because it seems like you are very happy and excited about your decision!!! I am so happy for you!!! Keep us posted on your progress and updates as we are a family here to support you!!!!
~KIMMIE

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purpleandteal
Posts: 74
Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2012 2:47 pm

Re: The Journey To Conquer The Hatred...

#3 Post by purpleandteal »

I guess I should continue my story, Ive felt a bit rubbish the past couple of days so havent been in the mood to write. but here we go.....

Ok so, where was I? Oh yes, brackets on and spacers in... I had an awkward week of aching pain, then got a cold on top of that so I was pretty miserable. My poor boyfriend has had so much moaning and complain, I feel sorry for him....
"you'll think im ugly"
"you wont want to kiss me"
"they will disgust you"
"i hate them"
on and on and on....
The first time he saw me after havng the brackets on, the first thing he did was kiss me, I was so nervous he would catch his lips on the brackets. I felt like an awkward teenager. I didn't know how to smile. You see, I have "perfected" the art of tiny smile, no teeth showing at all, but with the damned brackets there, it made my lips funny and I didn't know how to position them. It was strange having to be conscious of where my lips went.
He was so sweet, and ate soft food with me, scrambled eggs and tinned spaghetti for dinner and ice cream while watching films.

After smoking since my early teens, Iv finally managed to quit, no point going through all this to mess my teeth up from smoking, and also they wont do surgery if Im smking. Its now been almost 2 weeks since my last smoke and I barely miss it at all!

Then the big day, wire day! I had to get a 7am bus into town and then wait in a coffee shop until from 8am when the bus got in until 10.20am for my appt. Bless his heart, he woke up super early so he could text me and keep me occuied while I waited (he lives 20 miles away and neither of us drive and due to prior arrangements he wasnt able to come with me) so we are talking and Imtelling him my every worry, calm as ever he says we will get through it all and not to worry it will all be ok.
10am came....time to leave the coffee shop and walk up to the ortho. Im nervous, my mom was meeting me after the appt but I wished she was able to get there earlier (yes at 26, I still wanted my mommy!)

I waited for my name to be called and then in I go. The damned spacers came out thank god! And in their place 8 molar bands are put....8!!!! They are put on to measure them up, yanked off, covered in glue and put back on. Ouch ouch ouch! Because of how my teeth and mouth are he had a really had time positioning his hands to get them on, he slipped a few times, apologising massivly each time, but that didnt take away the pain from the tool he was using slipping and jammin into my gum and cheek. I tried not to cry, but I could feel my eyes watering. I forgot to put my chap stick in my pocket, so my dry lips being stretched so much ended up splitting in the corners, which 2 days on, still sting a lot.

ALWAYS CARRY CHAP STICK!!!!!

The rest of the appt was fairly straight forward, I had to have a spring from my front right tooth to the one one space away (probably a technical term for which teeth these are but I dont know it) My teeth next to my front teeth are quite far back and the ortho couldnt mangage to get the rightside one inthe wire so its had to have a damned spring on. As I have damons on the top, I could only have colours on the bottom, so I chose teal, which is a perfect match to the nail varnish I am wearing at the moment.
The one thing I noticed straight away was the smoothness in contrast to the shrpness Id felt all week from the brackets. Having the wires on crtainly made it more comfortable against my lips.
And then I was done, Im due back in 6 to 8 weeks for my 1st adjustment.

I didn't look in the mirror before I left the office, I dint want to, Im not sure why, I just didnt. I met my mom and we walked to her car to drive to a cafe for lunch. I pulled the mirror down and looked a my mouth, I couldn help it, i instantly started crying. I tried so hard not too, but my lip was gunna wobble whether I wanted it to or not and the tears were vunna fall no matter how hard I tried to stop them.
The spring pushed my lip out to the side, my already wonky gob had just been made wonkier....way wonkier. I couldnt (and still cant) close my lips properly. Horrible horrible horrible. I didnt want to go into a cafe but mom convinced me that it wasnt as bad as I thought.
Igot a yogurt and a cup of tea, but because of my lips being so wonky, I couldnt eat, i couldnt close my lips around the spoon to take a mouthful. I cried some more. I quickly drank my tea and told mom to bring me home, I ddnt want to be out.
The whole time Im texting my partner telling him how horrible his girlfriend now looks. He asked for a picture.... A picture??? physical proof of how awful I look?!?! The picture is horrible, a very very sad, and very wonky face, and calm as ever he says its nowhere near as bad as I think.
I get home and just cry. All those pics you see if you google braces, the pretty girls with the lovely braces.....Im not one of them. Im one of the horrible ugly, dont even classify as geek chic, just plain nasty.
I know that in the end this will be worth it, and I know that this look is temporary, but damn, I feel so self conscious and miserable. I dont want to go anywhere or see anyone. Going to the shops has become a huge mountain as I now have a lisp and cashiers say "pardon" a lot. I want to hide away for the next 2 and a half years.
I cant eat, Iv lost weight and so now people are complain at me (I have an eating disoder that Im trying to recover from, so my weight is watched a hell of a lot more than most...I actually gave up treatment to get my dental work done as the 2 wont work well together, so everyone is hyper sensitive) Im being woke up early from rolling over onto my mouth, brushing my teeth is torture, I cant talk, I dribble and everything sucks......... but, there is a light at the end of the tunnel...... Its only been 2 days, but today I can see a difference in 1 tooth, only a tiny difference, but I know my teeth inside out and so I can see it. Noone else will be able to notice it, but I can and I know this is working and that makes it all a tiny bit easier to bear.

This seems like such a negative moaning post, but I guess Im just in a kinda down mood, Im sure Ill perk up soon enough, just thought Id update while it was all still fresh in my head
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BellaBraces
Posts: 146
Joined: Sat Apr 21, 2012 7:44 am

Re: The Journey To Conquer The Hatred...

#4 Post by BellaBraces »

Your boyfriend certainly sounds like a keeper.

Chin up - we are so hard on ourselves and I know it can be difficult not to be. But, you have movement already! YAY!

NICURN85
Posts: 528
Joined: Thu Apr 19, 2012 9:30 am
Location: St. Louis, MO

Re: The Journey To Conquer The Hatred...

#5 Post by NICURN85 »

Hi there!!! You certainly have a GREAT BOYFRIEND!! He really is a keeper. Im sorry to hear you have had some bad days. Things will become better and you seem like such a strong person and with your boyfriend by your side you will get through it. Also know you can always vent to us also!!!!!!
~KIMMIE

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Bionicbigmouth
Posts: 35
Joined: Tue Apr 17, 2012 5:46 am
Location: Glasgow, Scotland

Re: The Journey To Conquer The Hatred...

#6 Post by Bionicbigmouth »

Just read your story...sounds like a really rough ride! :( and I agree with the others...your boyfriend is Defo a keeper...and your bound to be feeling all riled up about it...it'll be a big thing to adjust to. :) the way I see it is, I just keep thinking of the end game...how I'll be able to get through a day without thinking about my teeth...how I'll be able to have a picture taken with my beautiful baby girls and smile the biggest smile without having to feel embarrassed and only managing a half smile!

So in your case...just have a mental image of that lovely beaming picture of you with your nieces! Closer to the time for your de-brace, you should get a lovely frame and that'll give you a goal to work towards, that's what I'm going to do! :)

purpleandteal
Posts: 74
Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2012 2:47 pm

Re: The Journey To Conquer The Hatred...

#7 Post by purpleandteal »

its been a while since i updated. iv had 2 adjustments, stronger wires, more pain, more imaginative soft food recipes and more smiles. i now have power chains on my uppers. and the best bit of all, i got told my coil will be off on my next adjustment, 1 week before christmas. what an amazing xmas pressie?!
iv had loads of movement. my ortho is really pleased with progress. he thinks ill be having surgery by next christmas
i have to have 2 teeth shaved in 2 adjustments time. and i have to have allmy wisdom teeth out arghhh!!! but the progress is keeping me smiling.
i didnt think id do this, but, im going to post update pics. only my lowers as im waaaaaaaaay too self conscious about my uppers still..... but here goes.....
maybe ill post uppers in the new year, with the speed things are moving, who knows?!
iv had rough days, but nowhere near as frequent as the start. im now quite proud of my brace face. i didnt think there would be so much change in such a short space of time
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BetsyBug
Posts: 319
Joined: Fri Feb 24, 2012 1:04 pm

Re: The Journey To Conquer The Hatred...

#8 Post by BetsyBug »

Hey P&T!!! good to see you back!! Those lowers are looking great!!! I'm sure your uppers will be looking great soon as well. I too have some awesome coil springs on my uppers...hopefully mine will be going away soon as well :)
Sounds like a great christmas present to get rid of your ;)
BTW I love your jewelry.. .I have a few piercings but none on my face/lip but I always wanted one of course my choice of career keeps me from it - so I have some hidden tattoos and piercings instead ;)
Elizabeth
Getting top and bottom traditional metal braces and bite turbos
correcting crowding, overbite, and TMJ on 3/6/2012
Turbos Removed 8/14/2012


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purpleandteal
Posts: 74
Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2012 2:47 pm

Re: The Journey To Conquer The Hatred...

#9 Post by purpleandteal »

thanks!!! im so happy with my progress so far. the pain is paying off! i only have one coil, but it makes my mouh so wonky and i cant wait for the damned thing to be out. 17th december and its outta here (so long as my teeth cooperate) the powerchains seem to really be doing their job on closing gaps and making extra space, so im very hopeful, and i noticed this morning that the braceket on the non-wired tooth is no longer completly hidden so its looking good!
haha yea i have a few piercings, iv retired my tongue bar tho (as you can see by the pic) it had started knocking on my teeth, was fine before they started getting all straight, but the new alignment means it was banging on them and causing more pain than was needed. my ortho is vey proud! he wants me to take my lip ones out (dentists apparently dont approve of oral piercings!) iv got 19 now, all my facial ones will have to come out for surgery, hopefully ill be able to get most of them back in after. iv got a ton of ink too, i dont have to worry about keeping anything hidden, so my collection is growing rather quickly!
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BetsyBug
Posts: 319
Joined: Fri Feb 24, 2012 1:04 pm

Re: The Journey To Conquer The Hatred...

#10 Post by BetsyBug »

it is rather addictive :)
I had to take out a few of mine for an mri once, one that was in a sensitive area :oops: it was 24 hours before I tried to reinsert them it had grown closed. It has since been repierced. I would see if you can have a plastic piercing in them to maintain your holes. I love my tattoos and I will have more before its all said and done. I plan on teaching in public school though so none where anyone can see :)
Elizabeth
Getting top and bottom traditional metal braces and bite turbos
correcting crowding, overbite, and TMJ on 3/6/2012
Turbos Removed 8/14/2012


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Angel269
Posts: 561
Joined: Wed May 30, 2012 11:39 am
Location: UK

Re: The Journey To Conquer The Hatred...

#11 Post by Angel269 »

The lowers look great-You must be very pleased.

I know what you mean about posting photos. I was reluctant to post mine at first and i'm only having single arch treatment (upper) due to my large horrible midline diastema. I built up the courage and I'm glad I did, I have had so much support from fellow board members and I often look back and see how much my teeth have progressed over the last 3 and a half months.

I hope that as your teeth move you too will the find more confidence in yourself, I know I have done.

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Impressions-08/06/12
Big Day-22/06/12
Started using Bite Plate-14/07/12
Estimated treatment-8 months (upper ceramics)
Debond date-04/03/13

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Kipepeo
Posts: 690
Joined: Wed Jun 01, 2011 12:19 pm

Re: The Journey To Conquer The Hatred...

#12 Post by Kipepeo »

Hi Purple. Great progress.

I just wanted to comment on your current photo. Are your back molar brackets cutting slices in your cheek tissue? It looks like you have a chunk missing on both sides. If that's the case, it's no wonder you were complaining of pain.

purpleandteal
Posts: 74
Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2012 2:47 pm

Re: The Journey To Conquer The Hatred...

#13 Post by purpleandteal »

betsybug: theres plenty of skin thats easily hidden that can be inked :0p so keep your creativity flowing on your canvas!

angel269: thankyou, im so happy with the progress so far and am hoping i soon feel comfortable with posting my uppers, and you are right, the support here is great!

kipepeo: yea, my cheeks are a mess. the ortho was concerned that there now isnt enuf space betwen my lower back band and my gum behind, so now my bands are not only slicing the hell out my cheeks but also rippin into the back of my mouth. its great fun! oragel is my life saver!!
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staceyraver
Posts: 52
Joined: Mon Apr 02, 2012 1:52 pm

Re: The Journey To Conquer The Hatred...

#14 Post by staceyraver »

Great progress! I'm also having my treatment done on the good old NHS! :)

Ouch about the molar bands though....i haven't been subjected to those implements of torture yet!

purpleandteal
Posts: 74
Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2012 2:47 pm

Re: The Journey To Conquer The Hatred...

#15 Post by purpleandteal »

happy new year!!
so i had my coil out on my last adjustment, new power chains on to close my extraction gaps.
my right tooth next to upper front tooth has been wired up and is already almost in line with the rest.
my overjet has gone from 13mm to around 6-7mm, which is just incredible.
im actually thinking about posting more proress pics soon of both upper and lowers, i just eed to try d get rid o some stains as they are looking real dirty at the moment, erghh!!
so thatsmy little update. hope everyone had a lovely festive period with their shiny metal mouths :)
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