Dating prospects while braced

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#1 Post by **Loztredders** » Sat Oct 02, 2010 1:26 pm

So I'm due to be braced in a few months and unfortunatly me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago

so now, I feel like I'm not only facing the prospects of braces for 2+ years but also the fact that no body will want to date me for the entire time I have my braces on, I'm not interested at all in dating now, obviously, need time to heal ( he was my only long term relationship), but I shouldn't think that I'm going to want to stay single for about 3 years. Eek!!
Now, I know I wouldn't be put off dating a guy with braces but i don't know if any guys are going to want to date me, as braces are not at all popular with adults where I live, and guys my age (22) seem to want normality, and I feel like they might be embaressed to date a girl with braces. I don't know, maybe I'm being silly, just having a bit of a lonely pity party this weekend I think!! Lol.

#2 Post by **BraceFace2o1o** » Sat Oct 02, 2010 1:40 pm

Aww I am sorry to hear about your break up

I kinda know how you feel. I was with my boyfriend for over 5 years and we broke up in February... I was devastated. But I had to try and accept it but I didn't actually start feeling 'ok' about it until about a few weeks ago, so about 7 months after we broke up. I still miss him though - not sure why, because he was a total pig!

and I am not just saying that, I am being totally serious. I had such low confidence and let him bully me and I believed I loved him and he would change.

Anyway, I am not interested in having a relationship right now, I am happy being single. I'm not so sure I will want to remain single for the next 2-3 years though! So too, like you, worry what guys will think of me in a brace. I'm 24 but have experienced alot of horrid things in my life and it's kinda made me 'tough' in some ways (and not in others!) and not care so much what others think (that's why I don't have any issue being an adult in metal braces), so even though a part inside of me worries that guys wont like my braces, another part of me is like "well, who cares... their loss!"

. If they don't like it then they can shove it where the sun doesn't shine. Someone who wants to judge me on my braces/appearance aren't the type of guy I want to date anyway. I had enough of my ex picking on me and judging me ALL the time, I do not want another relationship like that! I am stronger now and will not let another man put me down.

Rant over, sorry!

Break ups are never easy in my opinion. But try to be strong and keep busy! I think keeping busy is the best thing, and time is definitely a healer x

#3 Post by **Loztredders** » Sat Oct 02, 2010 2:30 pm

Hey. Thanks for the reply

I'm sorry to hear about your break up too, but glad to hear you're getting there with getting over him.
It was a similar kind of situation with me, he wasn't a pig though, but he was mostly unwilling to give me any emotions and would joke around about other girls to try and make me jealous, but then he also had a really sweet side, and he was a good friend which makes it harder as it feels like I've now lost a friend as well. I know I'll be fine in time though, I'm definetly going to be better off without all the worry, even though I walked past him in town today and though my heart was gonna pop

But anyway back on topic, hopefully there will be some nice mature guys around for us both to date when we feel the time is right, and if guys are out off by braces then they aren't worth dating anyway.
I just think it'll be very lonely to spend 3 years without any form of intimacy, so I hope there are some nice guys out there. Lol

#4 Post by **NervousNewbie** » Sat Oct 02, 2010 2:47 pm

I know this might sound cliché, but, just be yourself and the right person will come along. Like you said, any guy who wouldn't date you because of a brace is not a guy worth your time anyway! Hugs to you.

#5 Post by **Noodle1** » Sat Oct 02, 2010 3:30 pm

Hey, i know exactly how you're feeling. I'm 24 and broke up with a girl just before i got the braces put on, that sort of thing knocks your confidence even without having braces. I know it's stupid, but i am much more introverted with braces and find it harder to be myself when on dates. Most of the girls that i've seen since i got my braces have had no problems with them and i'm pretty sure the guys would be exactly the same. I've made my own decision to take a back seat on the dating until the braces come off (which has certainly helped my studying:p) but that's just my own feelings, and I haven't got that much longer to go.

I know for a fact that other people care much less that we think they do, when you're ready, just go for it.

#6 Post by **Flaka** » Sat Oct 02, 2010 9:09 pm

Breaking up is always hard and I know what its like to break up while in braces. Hope you start feeling better soon and start smiling again

I dated my ex for over 2 years. I met him before braces, broke up twice while in braces. I thought nobody will date me because of the braces, I felt ugly, etc but I was so wrong. After changing my attitude and getting my confidence back, dating was better than before braces.

I met my husband in braces, got married in braces and I wouldn't change a thing.

People don't care if you have braces or not, it is your own attitude and the way you carry yourself that makes the difference in my experience.

I wouldn't put dating on "hold" just because you have braces, life goes on and should go on. Don't let anything limit your life.

#7 Post by **fluffybottom** » Sun Oct 03, 2010 10:48 am

You will be amazed by the sheer amount of people who really won't care about your braces. We obsess over them and because we do that, we assume everyone else is focused on them as well. But they don't, they really don't! I got together with my boyfriend while I had braces and we've been together for over two years now.

Dating with braces with 99% confidence (the other 1% is being careful during .. oral gymnastics *ahem*) -- if you are ashamed of them and let having braces affect your self-esteem, that is how you are going to come across to other people. Why would anyone want to date someone who is perpetually ashamed of themselves and insecure? If you treat your braces as no big deal, others will do the same.

Sure, there will probably be a few guys that will pass you over due to braces. But you have to remember: if someone is so vain that they wouldn't date someone because of something as superficial and TEMPORARY as braces, they are a shallow person who is probably an sweetheart about a great many things. Why would you want to date someone like that?

Bottom line, braces are only an impediment to dating if you let them be.

#8 Post by **sadpanda** » Mon Oct 04, 2010 7:15 pm

There will always be people who will date people with braces. I was even told that my braces looked cute on me and I'm 29. In fact, there are a lot more reasons why I think no one will date me that have nothing to do with my braces. Anyway, my sister is dating a guy with braces and he's 33.

#9 Post by **GeenBug** » Mon Oct 04, 2010 8:01 pm

I actually think my braces are putting off guys. I think it's the fact that i now look pouty and angry all the time because of the way it pushes my lips and mouth forward. I hate my braces because of this. I don't feel attractive with them. But whatever, i'm trying not to worry about it. When they come off, it'll be a different story, not to mention i'll be more confident. That's one of the things that's keeping me optimistic

. Anyway, just be yourself, if it's meant to be, your braces or how you look in them won't deter someone from being attracted to you.

#10 Post by **VikingGirl** » Tue Oct 05, 2010 1:33 am

I know exactly what you mean! Just keep them clean, relax and embrace your braces and people shouldn't really care. If they don't want to be near you because of them, I don't think they're worth it..
It can be so difficult to feel attractive, when your mouth's full of icky metal.

#11 Post by **Loztredders** » Tue Oct 05, 2010 12:52 pm

Thanks for the positive messages and support everybody

It gives me hope and makes me feel better to think that I'm not likely to be a total dateless write off for a few years!

#12 Post by **Margie** » Tue Oct 05, 2010 2:46 pm

I thought the same thing as you, I thought that once I got braces no one would want to date me.

Almost a year into braces I met someone and we have been together ever since! I am going to be getting my braces off soon and he thinks it will be strange once I don't have them since he has only known me with them.