Getting help for adult overjet in the UK

[max pain]

In simple terms, I have an overjet of around 12mm or more (which I believe makes me a potential candidate for NHS treatment in itself). My teeth are not in good shape. Some are capped, some have large fillings, most have small fillings, and some are missing.

The obvious first step would be to go to a dentist/orthodontist and get their opinion on treatments.

The problem for me, is that it's a very sensitive issue with a lot of emotional weight, and not one I like to talk about. I joined this forum over 10 years ago asking similar questions then and I have been back sporadically since. Around that time, I overcame a lifetime of silence on the matter and asked my dentist about treatment, and they just shrugged it off; said it would be difficult. Since then I have changed dentists and they are much better, and it has been spoken about, and they tell me they will talk to me about the options and possibly refer me to a hospital. But nothing has happened. They always appear too busy and they say 'see you again in six months'... Every time.

I know this seems trivial. That I should just push it, and ask. But it's hard for me. Growing up being bullied about my teeth, I learnt not to show any emotion about it, not to talk about, and for the most part, pretend none of it was happening. It's the reason it was never fixed then, because I never wanted to draw attention to it. I couldn't draw attention to it, it was too much for me to bear.

Now, I'm a little more relaxed about it. A little older, a little wiser, and a little more philosophical. But only a little. Just enough to make a whimper. And the only cries for help I have been able to muster over the past decade have been largely ignored. I'm not really sure what to do?

Once I start thinking about it I start spiralling into depression. It's something that has ruled my entire life. There's not an hour of the day goes by where there's not a negative thought about my teeth, and one which normally dictates how I act at that moment. And I think about this, and I think there must be someone that can help me. Someone that is willing. That I can speak in confidence with (the dental chair is rarely a very private setting, especially with nurses hovering about).

I just feel so very lost about it. I know this isn't really the right place to speak about it, and that it's unlikely anyone will have any answers. But if anyone can at least point me in the right direction...

Paying for treatment is not an issue (within reason), though I always have concerns about the motives of people with financial interests. And if I got as far as accepting treatment, that in itself is a big deal because it will be opening a box of emotions that I'm genuinely scared of. One that has been locked tight for several decades. So I need to ensure they at least have my interests at heart.

These kinds of posts aren't normally me, and I may come back and delete it later. It's just that I try looking for help and don't really know where to find it.

[MyNewName]

Hello,

I've been lurking here for a couple of years whilst undertaking treatment.

I joined now because I read your post and wanted to say that what you have written is courageous and brave and well done for writing it.

I would like to make a suggestion. Instead of making an appointment to talk to a dentist or authodontist, which I appreciate is intimidating, embossing and a lot of other uncomfortable emotions, could you begin by sending them a letter? What you wrote above is so sincere and reads so well that it would allow the dentist / orthodontist to understand your situation. These people are here to help everyone and will understand and sympathise with any situation.

I appreciate this would also be very difficult to do but it would also be a very positive step.

Trust me. I am a card carrying member of team avoidance, but on those occasions I manage to push myself, I never regret it.

Best wishes,

[max pain]

Thanks MyNewName. It is easier for me to write these things down, and these are the kinds of suggestions I'm looking for...

I guess in this case, it's more the channels which that very personal writing may pass through before reaching the intended recipient. Here I'm anonymous, but to do that, I would have to at some point walk my paranoid self through that door, not knowing who has read it.

And I guess that is what I'm looking for. Someone I can have that confidence in. That I can confide in. And that I can trust.

[Dureena]

Max sounds like the first step might be seeing a psychiatrist or at the very least a trusted friend.

The NHS will only take you if you're going down the surgical route. An orthodontist will probably be a better bet at getting a referral than your general dentist.

[Jdizle]

I agree get yourself to an orthodontist first and let them make the referral for you. Sorry I'm in aus so I'm not sure 100% on your system but I went to three orthodontists two didn't charge and one did. Which gave me a a few options before committing. Good luck. Please keep going! You can do it!

[max pain]

All of my dentists have been orthodontists of some kind. None of them seem to want to deal with me to be honest. They don't seem to know what to do with me. It has been very hard to talk about it at all, and it's just brushed under the carpet.

In a world where everyone seemingly has (and is expected to have) perfect teeth, I feel completely abandoned as a lost cause.

I just don't fit the model. I find it hard to understand how people are so freely handed treatment for extremely minor cosmetic improvements, and yet I'm living a life full of mental pain and insecurities which dominate nearly every waking moment, and I'm struggling to find help of any kind. Even if I were to pay for treatment, I don't know where to take my money (my dentists do NHS and private orthodontic work, but seem to have no solutions).

In reality, I'm just having a low moment. Most likely what will happen, is I'll shut the lid of the box. The voices will still escape, I just won't listen to them. And I'll spend the rest of my life doing what I have always done....

All I want is for someone to take it seriously.

[occamsblazer]

Hey Max,

Sorry to hear about your experiences so far, it's really brave of you to write about them. It sounds like you may be a more complex case, but just because they can't help you themselves doesn't mean they cant refer you to somebody who can. If money isn't an issue, it's worth looking to the private sector as well - they're not always money-grabbing types either; my own ortho actually referred me to the NHS to see if they'd take me before he took me on. Don't lose hope, it's clearly affecting you in a big way. Good luck, and keep us posted x