Body dysmorphic

[contour]

I have spiraled into a deep dark depression and I have been unable to come out of it. I just don't know what to do or which way to turn and I partly detest myself for becoming so shallow.

I had braces at the age of 22 because I did not like my teeth but I was considered very good looking by everyone after having lost about 10 stone in weight (I use to be obese). I actually liked the way that I looked and I felt comfortable, it was just my teeth I started to develop an issue with, so I decided to have braces.

Big Mistake. After I endured 18 months of the having Damon's fitted, when they came off, I hardly recognized myself. It took me a while to adjust the shape of my face and my teeth, but I still felt that My teeth were not straight, this being due to having two front teeth that were slightly chipped. I tried to accept this as I had researched prices into having veneers fitted and they just proved to be to expensive at the time.

In December 2008, I found a cosmetic dentist that said he could create composite bonding to perfect my two front chipped teeth, so I was very happy to hear about his recommendation and the cost (compared to veneers) was extremely small (About £150). I had the procedure done just before christmas, but during the procedure, he placed a lot of composite bonding on the back of my two front teeth, and I remember after the procedure, my bite changed. It felt like I was biting down on a lump.

This is when everything started to go downhill. Immediately, the next morning after the procedure, I loved the shape of my front teeth as they were not chipped anymore, but I noticed I did not look the same. I didn't think nothing of it at the time, but then, week by week, the shape of my face started to change.. My face became thinner and more longer and my top lip thinned out. By the summer of 2009, I just could not except the way I looked, I hated myself. I had lost the 'good looks' that I apparently had, I just looked ugly. I even had people tell me that I had changed, and I don't have that photogenic features that I had before.

I had been back to the cosmetic dentist on numerous occasions, asking for the bonding on the back of my teeth to be removed, but he kept on declining, and then I went to see other dentists, and one agreed to file down some of the lump of bonding on the back of the teeth, but they had warned me that what had basically happened was that the length of my jaw had grown to accommodate the bonding and my bite, and that my teeth grew so that they would again touch each other, because after the initial bonding, my teeth on the sides of my mouth didn't initially touch the lower teeth anymore, but then they slowly started too, and this is what had happened.

This procedure of filing down some of the bonding did not make an ounce of difference, and it just made the situation worse as now my teeth don't perfectly sit like they use to on one side of my mouth, they don't sit in with the bottom teeth.

But apart from all this, I just feel extremely ugly and I have developed some sort of body dysmorphic disorder, I cant look in the mirror anymore because I remember how I once looked a few years ago and how I was happy with the shape of my face (just had an issue with my teeth because they were crooked). But now, I just don't recognize myself. I just don't know how to accept it. I don't think I can. I absolutely hate the way that I now look. I ask other people for validations, and even they agree, that I have changed from 4 years ago.

I have just recently been contemplating getting braces again to see if it would make a difference, but deep down, I don't think it will.

What do you guys think i should do? (apart of counselling and therapy)

[VA5]

I'd go to several different orthos and get consultations and be very specific with what you want to achieve, in particular the aesthetics of your face. I wouldn't not settle with one until you find one who is on the same page as yourself.

[ellen]

Is it possible that you're face has changed simply due to growing older? Many people see their face thin out in their 20s from loss of baby fat. Or maybe your face has changed from excessive dieting?

[Chicagogal]

I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling so terribly about yourself. Sounds incredibly painful to go through.

Honestly, you need to do the counseling first.

If you tell that story to any orthodontist or cosmetic surgeon/dentist, a good one would tell you the same. There is just too much risk in making yet another change to your appearance before dealing with the psychological and emotional issues that have come along with the previous changes.

Counseling: find someone you can open up to fully. Bring pictures of how you used to look and describe why you're feeling different about yourself now. Is it just physical? Were other things helping you to feel happy and satisfied then, that you don't have now? There's a lot involved with body dismorphic issues including the fact that a million surgeries or changes wont make you happy until you deal with the underlying causes. Once you do, then you can bring that picture to an appropriate practitioner to see if the changes you need/want are achievable.

Good luck!!!

[battyskyog13]

Hey there, I completely understand your struggle. Im going through the same thing after having 4 bicuspids removed. The past 2 years have been a rollercoaster of panic attacks and depression as well as physical symptoms from the process of extraction and closing the spaces where my teeth used to be. My entire facial structure has changed and it is extremely frustrating. I've started treatment with a 3rd orthodontist, to fix my physical symptoms ie' trouble breathing/swallowing/tmj pain/ ear sensitivity and more, but Im afraid my face will just always horrible to glimpse in the mirror the rest of my life. Its really disheartening and I hope you find some relief, truly.