Aww

you shouldn't be so hard on yourself! At least this is something you know you can change and sort out.
You'll be fine, soon you will be in braces and on your way to having straight teeth! We both have that to look forward to

. Like I keep telling myself, better late than never
But I totally understand where you are coming from. I have some crooked lowers (my canine is twisted, my right premolars are tipping in towards my tongue), but my upper front teeth are what bother me most.
If I look at my upper front teeth straight on in the mirror I can't notice the crookedness that much. But when I took photos of my uppers from an angle below them and also from the side I was quite shocked at how they looked, I just had it in my head they didn't look THAT bad. After seeing the photos I was ashamed of how they looked and realised that's how other people see them

. I am like that with photos of myself too

. I think I look 'fairly ok', then when I see the picture I am like, wow, do I really look like that!? haha.
My upper left front tooth is pointing out diagonally because of my lateral incisor, my upper front teeth are also slanted to the left so my midline looks like a diagonal line instead of a vertical one, but I honestly don't notice any of this in the mirror, only when I look at pictures. It might be because when I look in the mirror, what I see is flipped round where as in a picture that is what everyone else sees too when they look at me.
Oh and the only reason I uploaded photos of my teeth on here is because I know that one day they wont be like that anymore. Prior to that I wouldn't have even DREAMED of showing the internet my crooked teeth
Good luck!