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hey everyone, I was wondering if your family members are supportive of your decisions to get braces??And how did they react when yo told them??
Im having braces on soon, but I havent told any family yet, My close friends know and they are very supportive but I am dreading telling my mum because I just dont think she will understand, I think she will feel that it is selfish and unjustified to spend that much money on Myself!!
Yikes! Im nervous about telling her and other family, should I just wait till I have them on. ??
Bracey:
You'll be surprised by the responses you'll get. I am sure your mom will understand. My family was the first to tell. My parents don't understand the process of braces, and stil don't get what is braces-friendly and what isn't but they understand that it is something I need to do, not only for aesthetic reasons, but for health reasons as well. You are going to be fine!!! Congrats on starting the journey!
As far as the telling family goes, I kept a big secret from my parents for years and when I finally told them they were more upset that I felt I couldn't tell them everything rather than about the secret I kept from them. Wow, hope that made sense .
As far as the money goes, I'm assuming that it's your money to do with what you want. Besides, taking care of your health no matter the cost is never selfish.
I told no-one other than my husband that I was getting braces. Over time, various people - including family members - have noticed and commented. Most of them have been supportive at best, curious at the least. My 92 year old mother still hasn't noticed anything different, and it's probably better that way. She has dementia and wouldn't understand.
I told my family, but then again, they have known I've been wanting/needing to do this for a long time. My mom was really excited for me and now she's jealous and wants braces for herself. I would be afraid of what Ives said -- that your mom will be hurt that you felt you couldn't tell her. Then again, only you know your own mom. Different people react differently. For me, I was happy that I told mostly everyone ahead of time because it made it a lot more comfortable when I saw those people for the first time, as opposed to those I didn't tell where it was a little awkward. Either way, don't feel guilty for doing something good for yourself. Braces are a medical treatment, so not exactly the same thing as going out and buying a fancy car (not that there's anything wrong with that either). Hopefully your mom will be supportive whether you tell her now or later.
The support and reactions of familiy members can mean a lot. When I first mentioned the idea of getting braces to my wife she thought I was crazy (her teenage braces experience was very unpleasant). When my expander went in about a year later she seemed to be on the fence. Once she saw the progress with my expander after about 3 months she was very excited and fully onboard.
My parents didn't really understand, but were not against it. Various other family members have ranged from silent to very supportive. I have found many friends and coworkers to be very sympathetic and supportive.
The real issue is what you think. If you want it bad enough and it means enough to you the other opinions won't matter as much. Even when my wife thought I was nuts and that it would be a massive waste of our money it was important enough to me that I still wanted to proceed. Once my wife saw what it meant to me she began to understand it from my perspective and has since become my biggest cheerleader.
If you really want it, make sure they see your determination.
Expander in 8/9/06
Lowers on 11/30/06
Uppers on / Expander gone on 1/31/2007
Class III elastics added 3/14/2007
Expander #2 - 6/27/2007
20-24 months w/ fixed metal braces
My mother was VERY supportive and remains very supportive. My sister, who is nine, is jealous. She says that she can't wait to get braces. Ah, the joys of innocence, lol!
My father, however, was never supportive. The reason I am 21 and in braces is because when I was younger he said he would not pay for it, saw it as a waste of money.
Once I got braces, he hasn't said anything negative about it, nothing positive either. Oh well, I really don't need his positive reinforcement, I know I'm doing the right thing!
My mom's response was, "Why did you decide to get braces now?"
I think she felt some guilt and the subject led to an interesting conversation.
Unfortunately, I think she would have felt better if I never repaired my teeth.
22 months in treatment (upper ceramics, gelb on lower arch and then self-ligating brackets), hawley retainers LithpingLitha's Braces Story
My advice would be to tell your Mom before you get braces and follow that up with something along the lines of: "Mom, you may not like my decision but I want to believe that we can talk and I can tell you my decision even if you don't agree with me because you are a big part of my life." That's probably a bit over-dramatic but you can tone it to your style.
I did not have braces when I was younger. My parents thought it was a waste of money to spend just on 'how your teeth look'. I'm 43. Well, I got my braces last September, told my Mom before hand. She didn't say much. Then when I visited her a month later, and she saw my teeth, her response was, "Wow! Isn't that amazing how much straight your teeth are?! Isn't it amazing they can do that and so fast! Hey, everyone, come over here and look at Ronsie's teeth!! Wow your front teeth were overlapped before and now they are perfect!"
Well, they weren't perfect and they still are a long way off from perfect but it was great to hear my Mom say that. She's 87.
But in the end, it's your decision, your money and your teeth. Go for it!
And, really, it's up to you as to how much you want to participate in any debates about your teeth.
How do you think I dealt with telling my family that I was moving to another country to live with a man that I only knew for three days? I acknowledged their comments but did not get in a fuss about it.
That was five years ago and now I'm a happily married woman (to that same man) and I suspect that my family likes him more than me!
I get braces tomorrow and so far 2 friends know and are so happy for me. I told my brother and his wife last nite and they were very supportive as well. I'm 55 and finally doing it.
I'm getting braces in about a month or so, hopefully!! I told EVERYONE. I think i'm probably annoying people with how much i talk about it! IT's ok though, most everyone i know already had them, so they're chock full of information! I told my dad and he's been kinda supportive, in his own way. He told me he would help me pay for them because he knows i've been wanting to do this for a long time. He couldn't afford them when i was younger because he's a single dad and rarely got even so little as child support from my mom. You're making a really good decision to do this for yourself. It's okay to be selfish as long as you are willing to give as well. I think a great way to return that is to help people here as you go through your journey. *personal opinion*
Sheleah
When I read 'my mum will think it's selfish to spend so much money on myself', I understand 'a big part of me thinks it's selfish to spend so much money on myself and my mother won't do anything to assuage that guilt'. You know it's not more selfish than the normal things you do to look after your health, right? Go for it.
Parents may have a bit of guilt over not being able to help you out with this earlier in your life. They may also just want to protect you from any kind of discomfort. But the technology has changed so much since you were younger, and since THEY were younger, that they may not be aware that it's not as rough as it used to be (except financially, where it hasn't changed a bit!). If it's worth it to you, then go ahead with it and talk to your family. Even if they disagree they will appreciate being included by hearing about what's going on in your life. Doing all of this is a Big Picture kind of action that, frankly, I think most parents end up admiring.
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