What do you tell the family/friends?

[nahky]

I wanted to address the issue of having orthognathic surgery and how someone would approach this sort of news to their family or friends.

I havent told any friends about this up and coming event that will be very significant in my life. I feel sad that I dont feel comfortable enough to tell them.

I guess personally I feel this way because i think they would not understand. I had trouble enough understanding what was going on with my jaw, until i got a specialist explaining every single detail to me and how abouts going to fixing it.
Only my close family (Mum, Dad, Bros + Siss) know what is going on. It took them a bit of time to realise what was wrong with my bite [underbite].

I think if i told them anything to my friends about my underbite and the surgery to fix it, they will probably offhand think that i am having some sort of cosmetic surgery to improve my profile. (even my sisters tease me occasionally that i should be on the swan or extreme makeover, they are just joking but i couldnt stand anyone else making these jokes, and i do not definately need an extreme makeover! ) I would not want them to come to this conclusion because i think it would affect the way they think about me. It is quite a complicated thing to explain.

I Have made a plan to say that my braces done the trick, and they dramatically changed my profile because i've had teeth removed. Im not sure this would work because i will be out of action for a fair bit before all my swelling goes down.

I just wanted to get this issue out in the open and see what others thought and what others have done to deal with the situation, if there was any at all

[swan]

I'd probably just tell them that there is a problem with your jaw that could/would lead to furher health problems if it's not fixed, so you're having surgery.
Something like that. Something that explains the whole thing in very general terms (and that includes that you are doing this for your health) without going into any detail.

If someone asks further, warn them that the details are complicated just like you did here on the board.

I definitely wouldn't lie (such as saying that the braces alone did it or something)! Apart from the fact that lying is never a good idea anyway, just think if that person found out, then they'd never believe your true intentions afterwards.

[nahky]

I guess thats the thing, if i left my underbite, however slight it may be, it will not lead to any further health problems.

I can eat normally and speak normally. Im just not happy with my appearance because my bottom jaw is a bit more prominent giving me an unbalanced and unhamronized appearance on profile view. Deep down inside i'd say that its a 90% cosmetic thing on my behalf and 10% functionality thing. Because i have always been unhappy about my jaw.

hmmm... i dont know what to say... guess i'll think about it a bit more..

[josephine]

You can check with your doc, but my guess is that if you have a bad bite it actually *could* get worse as a functional problem, cause TMJ, etc.; teeth and bone do move around further as you get older, and that can complicate matters when your bite is off to begin with. I suspect no case is ever completely cosmetic or completely functional. (Docs, do you agree?)

Maybe something as vague as "I'm getting some jaw problems fixed" would do for most people. That may be all they need or want to know about the substance of your treatment, and then you and they can move on to how they can help with support and being extra nice to you while you recover.

In any case congratulations on making the tough decision to take care of this now. Your friends here will be glad to hear all the details!

[lioninthelake]

I think about this issue too as my surgery approaches. I have mentioned the need for surgery to some people, but it seems that just as soon as I mention anything about function, problems with bite, tooth wear, etc. their eyes glaze over and they're just not interested.

Some people are only interested in the sensationalism of cosmetic surgery and once they figure out that it's not my motivation, they could care less.

Then there are others who think that even a mole removal is too drastic.... ugh, just don't even bother mentioning it to those folks

[decisionmade]

My family and good friends have been incredibly supportive after of course their initial reaction of" why?"..and "you look fine"...As it turns out i have had 3 friends confide in me that they themselves have had something done.. braces stories as well as nose jobs and eye lid surgery...They finally feel comfortable telling me as I am also entering into such a big step...In the end it is about you and how you feel about yourself and bite issue and unhealthy teeth can lead to many problems as you age...so I look at it as health first and cosmetic second...The people that love you will support you..good luck to all of you.. (us)

[joey]

hi i found it quite difficult to tell people why im having surgery for the simple reason as i was so unhappy about my side profile but id never ever told anyone how unhappy it actually made me so every one was suprised after 26 year of never ever mentioning it to ANYONE that i was so unhappy to make such a drastic decsion to put it right! obviously it wasnt a drastic decision for me as id dreamed about getting it done so feels good now ive told everyone i hate it and i want it fixed and every one is behind me 150% except my dad really isnt keen on me getting it done as he says he loves me just like i am aaaaaaaaaaa

[nahky]

hi i found it quite difficult to tell people why im having surgery for the simple reason as i was so unhappy about my side profile but id never ever told anyone how unhappy it actually made me so every one was suprised after 26 year of never ever mentioning it to ANYONE that i was so unhappy to make such a drastic decsion to put it right! obviously it wasnt a drastic decision for me as id dreamed about getting it done so feels good now ive told everyone i hate it and i want it fixed and every one is behind me 150% except my dad really isnt keen on me getting it done as he says he loves me just like i am aaaaaaaaaaa

I know exactly how you feel. I hate my side view as well. I hate letting poeple see me from my profile view. I get really self conscious. I hide my mouth with my hide if im setting down and rest my jaw on my hands. Or i'll bite on my finger nails, look the other way, anything to disguise it.

I feel inferior because of my underbite. a major flaw. This is why sometime i lack confidence i certain situations. I was even more this way couple of years ago because i didnt know i had an underbite, just an ugly profile i thought. BUt now i know and knoiw that it will be fixed, i feel a bit better.

9 months and 3 weeks left until i can get surgery I cant wait!

When the moment comes when i can be viewed from every angle and i can be carefree is the moment i will cherish for the rest of my life. No longer will i feel trapped in this ugly underbite of mine

[joey]

you so could be me except ive got overbite, if im in the car and some one drives next me me id pretend to yawn bite my nails anything so that you cant see my profile! sounds like we are both going through the same thing at the same time would be good to keep in touch, how old are you? im 26! live in uk and am 4 months in to braces due to have my bottom set on in 6 weeks! its amazing the chages in my teeth how they are changing are yours and to be honest my overbite looks as though its improving!! we will be stunning soon with our hollywood smiles good luck and keep intouch xx

[nahky]

you so could be me except ive got overbite, if im in the car and some one drives next me me id pretend to yawn bite my nails anything so that you cant see my profile! sounds like we are both going through the same thing at the same time would be good to keep in touch, how old are you? im 26! live in uk and am 4 months in to braces due to have my bottom set on in 6 weeks! its amazing the chages in my teeth how they are changing are yours and to be honest my overbite looks as though its improving!! we will be stunning soon with our hollywood smiles good luck and keep intouch xx

Im 17. In Melbourne Australia. Have been in braces for 4 months and 3 weeks.

My bite is getting better despite my specialist stating that it would get worse. I used to have a gap in my front teeth, and now its gone and i have straight teeth. Even though i have nicer teeth, i still have an ugly profile. Its like my mouth dominates my face ( I know it could just be me focusing on this major flaw of mine)

I'll always be on this segment of the forum. It is one of my very few outlets i can speak openly about my excitement and antisipation about the surgery and great stuff it will bring to me. also to vent about my current situation and my anxiety.

Hollywood smiles??? I CAN'T WAIT! Thats the day i'll be strutting down the street carefree and proud.